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Sunday, July 5th, 2009
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1:11 pm - He bled dirty red wine, and I drank gin as the miles grew thick between us
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Every other day or so, I open a tab to livejournal and start trying to compose an entry; then I think, "Nah, no one wants to hear about that," and close it again. And in this manner, nothing ever gets written.
I hope all my American friends had good Independence Day celebrations, and that no one blew their face off with firecrackers! My family nearly always spends at least part of Fourth of July at our local pool. The menu sometimes changes, the games have undergone some adaptations, but one thing remains constant: a rousing game of watermelon polo to conclude the festivities.
( If you've never had to sit in an emergency room and fill out paperwork on a fruit-related concussion, you cannot be said to have truly lived )
Fred, the homicidal ice cream man, has opened a new shaved ice stand, so now his son drives the truck more often. This is mildly sad, because Fred's son, while a nice young lad, is just not as interesting and unpredictably violent as Fred. He seems the sort who would try logic and reason with his competitors, rather than rushing at them with a baseball bat whilst screaming bloody murder. Fred's son assured me that Fred would be coming back later.
Much more to say and post later. Been eaten by life, ever since the end of May, but hopefully I'll be able to make myself write about it all eventually, in a slightly more humorous way than it has been happening to me. Or I'll just write about Hetalia, and slap up a bunch of IM conversations about fandoms.
In other news, wanna know the fucking weather?
current mood: Sunday quiet
current music: Drew Bunting - Gin
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| Monday, June 1st, 2009
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9:34 am - He's the one who likes all our pretty songs
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Thank you for all the birthday wishes last week! I love you all. Saturday night, I went out with Louise (the charming ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) champignons who never updates her livejournal anymore, even after I agreed to get a Facebook account because she made me), to pass some time with tapas, drinks, and genteel conversation of an intellectual and classy bent.
Regrettably, someecards did not have the exact sentiment I need to express to Louise, which is "Sorry I spent much of the evening talking about how much of a heinous bitch my CEO is, and then culminated it by twice vomiting directly on the third rail of the Friendship Heights metro station as we returned to your abode." I mean, they had several that were close, but not quite. (I also should send apology ecards to those Metro security guards who clearly didn't know whether to yell at me for the vomit or to tackle me away from suicide-distance from the edge of the platform.)
Many of my nights out with Louise end with my vomiting on unlikely objects. She is a kind and generous enough friend to have both accepted this and still allow me to sleep on her floor at the end of the night. Louise, you are a star.
In the document on my computer where I have all the scraps and bits of lj entries I mean to post, there is currently:
-A recap of my weekend in Boston with twigcollins, eramundo, and flidgetjerome attending AnimeBoston.
-The second part of Gravity's Bringing Us Down
-The 17th chapter of Pale Sky
-A "Music that sounds upbeat but has opposite lyrics" themed music post.
-A WIP meme.
-Multiple AIM conversations covering topics including but not limited to the Supernatural season finale, Batman, Stephen King, illogical body piercings, Assassin's Creed, FFVII, Silent Hill, James Woods, Tom Daley as a shoujo heroine, Dick Cheney, and snake Nazis.
But, because of recent events, I am too irritated to finish most of those, so I am going with a really self-indulgent meme instead.
The problem with LiveJournal: We all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So, I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious or maybe not, but you have no idea about. Ask away. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you!
So, if you want to ask, "what do you do for a living?" or "what's the fandom you love but don't admit to?" or "where's that thing you owe me?" or "if you were trapped in a lifeboat with the Beatles, who would you eat first?" or "what is your goddamn problem with Crisis Core, anyway?"-- now's your chance. (Of course, the reason this is a self-indulgent meme is the fact I get to talk about myself. Goes without saying that I will be happy and in fact, way too eager to give you the same treatment and opportunity. Your secrets, they will be mine.)
Also, I had a spam email in my inbox titled "Man Cuts Off penis inn Romantic Despair." I had to click it to check, because a news article like that really is just the kind of thing one of you guys would send me.
current mood: mrrrrr
current music: Nirvana - In Bloom
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| Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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3:18 pm - Leave me to die in the wreckage, as soon as it burns I'll be gone
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I always forget how insane my workload gets right around this time of year. I think it's self-defense on my brain's part, because otherwise I would surely just throw myself off a cliff as soon as March begins. So, um, clearly I do not have anything I said I'd post last time. It'll happen, man. Someday.
( I was cleaning through some of my Google Chats, and this is something else I was apparently doing roughly around this time last year )
I went hiking, gave blood, and drank two bottles of wine with Louise two weeks ago (three activities that I really need to do in a different order next time.) The wildflowers down at Great Falls were all coming out, and the bald eagle was hanging out over his nest, glaring at all of existence and clearly itching to fuck shit up. I expect he's still pissed off that last year's floods got his nest.
Anyway. The garden's also popping, miraculously enough. The renovation pretty much destroyed large portions of the backyard, so it's nice to see little oases of green and splashes of color coming back. I'm keeping an eye out to see if the mint recovers from the total razing they did near that corner. My bet is that it will; like Keith Richards and cockroaches, mint can survive a nuclear blast. Our end days will be overseen by Keith Richards commanding his vast cockroach army to bring him mojitos. O, what a brave new world.
Have a song, it's good for getting through a Thursday afternoon:
Flogging Molly - Sentimental Johnny.
current mood: cliffing times
current music: Townes Van Zandt - Pancho & Lefty
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| Friday, April 10th, 2009
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3:26 pm - Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
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It's Good Friday, with properly greyish-cloudy Good Friday weather. Also, I'm back from Orlando.
( Sadly, a fairly hijink-free recap )
All in all, it wasn't as interesting a conference as usual, but it served its purpose. Since returning, I've also had the lovely and talented soranokumo down for a visit to see the cherry blossoms.
And I have been saying I would post music for a long time, so instead of talking about anything else, here it is. Originally I was going to post most of this music back in October, around Halloween, with a theme along the lines of creepy-weird-odd with the additional challenge of not actually using any Silent Hill or Japanese horror-survival video game music. But then I spent a solid two months traveling to various cities, and everything I did is still kind of a blur. So, I post it now. Have some music! Or don't. It is a free country; you can do crazy shit like make bread pudding out of Krispy Kreme donuts, and no one will stop you.
( Music post: Damn, It's Been A Long Time Since We've Had A Music Post )
Slumdog Millionaire really was an awesome movie. Anyway. Stand by for the long-belated second part of Gravity, and a writing meme. Possibly some AIM conversations. And maybe a Lol-Pope, as it will shortly be Easter, after all.
current mood: clock-watching
current music: The Mountain Goats - International Small Arms Traffic Blues
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| Monday, March 9th, 2009
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5:39 pm - Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on
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I'm going to be in San Francisco from the 10th to the 16th, so-- yeah, that's where I'll be.
I need to pack and frantically find appropriate presents, because I have a ton of family there. (Chinese on one family side, Irish Catholic on the other, so we've kind of perfected the breeding thing) and I'm trying to retain my Cool Older Cousin Who Brings Cool Gifts title. (It's actually a great way to foist off a lot of the free swag I get at conferences. For some reason, they love the various crap I get, like stress balls with pharmaceutical names like LIPITOR and PFIZER printed on them. Go figure.) This year, due to time constraints, everyone's getting books and Easter candy.
I like kids in general, but I'm particularly fond of this set of Tiny Cousins, even though they actually have more computer skills than I do. For one thing, there is a wide variety of age and temperament so chances are good I can find something to talk about with at least a couple of them at any given time; also, many of them fight each other in hilarious fashion at a moment's provocation. Tiny #5 and Tiny #6 are within a few months of each other; one of them walks into a room and the other immediately grabs all the toys within range and states "MINE." Then, tiny flailing combat commences, complete with screeching in inhuman registers. It's totally awesome.
I am so fucking tired. Man, I'm sure everyone's had this at some point-- you know, where life is being life, and you get to the point where certain songs sort of become your world? And you listen to them on repeat despite everyone else's threats of physical violence if you don't stop playing it, and you get a zing when they unexpectedly come on the radio, and you mouth their lyrics to yourself while trying not to ram the dude who just cut you off? If I hadn't had Modest Mouse's "Float On" for this past month, I probably would have snapped and punched someone right in the face. I have a lot of songs-- whole playlists, even-- intended to cheer and/or energize me, but for some reason, that's been the song lately. I have a list of songs with which this has happened. Seriously, other people do this, right?
Anyway, thanks to that, the only thing I have made serious attempts to punch in the face has been Daylight Savings Time, and that worked out pretty much as well as you'd expect it to. Later, I will find time to do the WIP meme post and make fun of Ryan Lochte. (No face punching there. But a lot of pointing and laughing.) Further updates as events warrant.
current mood: frazzled
current music: Kinda obvious, wot?
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| Saturday, February 28th, 2009
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1:14 pm - I believe it was Voltaire who said "well, then fuck them."
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ThorneScratch: January and February are months that can just suck it.
twigcollins: These are the months that pay for the summer. The months that make you earn it.
ThorneScratch: The cockpunching months.
twigcollins: Now all I can see is, like, Thorne's 1894 Almanac, in scribbled font.
"these are the cockpunching months"
dolphins sighted: 0
midgets tossed (total distance) = 9 cubits
ThorneScratch: Yes. That is my trusted log. In very fancy calligraphy. And a few questionable stains.
Yeah, so that's where I've been lately-- taking shots to the junk from 2009, which so far, has proved to be a contentious year. Life and work intersected kind of suddenly, in the form of Dad getting open heart surgery, and I've spent the last three weeks either hanging around the hospital or driving up and down the beltway to airports, pharmacies, etc. I've always felt weird mentioning serious stuff while it's actually happening, (this is the kind of bad logic that will have me disappear someday and no one will know where I am until they find my body in a melting snowbank in the spring) because it's personal and there's hardly enough time to sit down and talk in the midst of everything, and also because stress makes me lose inhibitions and I tend to snarl at people who don't deserve it. So. Now things are cautiously more optimistic.
Anyway, I am kind of wicked behind on commenting on stuff, and talking to folks, and so forth. Check back with me later, and there will be the stuff I previously promised-- mp3s and fic, hopefully-- as well as long descriptions about everything you probably never wanted to know about sextuple bypasses and valve replacements. Also, the hospital was pretty much right out of Silent Hill. I cannot tell you the number of times I took the wrong elevator to the cafeteria, only to end up lost in the basement, clutching a lead pipe and swinging wildly at nurses. And when I eventually found the cafeteria there were copious soy items on the menu, which is a telling sign.
In the meantime, as I have not read large chunks of anything posted in the last three weeks, if you're written something, link me? Or say hello. Or ask for five things I associate with you. Or give me some music or something. I are lonely Thorne.
current mood: still not fit for good company
current music: Mickey Avalon - Friends and Lovers
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| Thursday, February 5th, 2009
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3:06 pm - I don't have the patience to keep it on the up
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| Thursday, January 29th, 2009
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10:46 pm - What would you think if I sang out of tune
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Emerging briefly from my work-heap for a special reason. Great googly moogly, it's twigcollins's birthday! Hooray!
( A very patchwork account of how I met Twig )
So, yeah. That's the version I can tell in public, anyway. Twig, you are awesome, and the year had better be good to you, or else. You've given me a lot of wonderful things over the years, and I hope I'll someday be able to pay even more of it back. I'll be leaving your birthday fic over on the Pale Sky com tomorrow, and the other stuff should find its way to you in the mail. Now, in celebration of the glorious day, have some boggling links.
The Recently Deflowered Girl. A parody of an etiquette guide by Edward Gorey. That it's illustrated by Edward Gorey is kind of all you need to know.
Nine Awesome Places to Have Sex and the Horrific Consequences. Swimslash people, for the love of God, please take note of number eight. Not to mention, if you fuck in the pool, the lifeguards will hate you forever. Yes, we will. That goes for hot tubs, too.
The Six Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit in Your Shoe). Man, Australia. I really admire you guys; you have all manner of creatures that just seem to come right up and fuck with your shit.
The Six Most Sadistic Dishes From Around the World. Vegetarians might want to give this one a miss.
One of these days I will have a life again. I hope.
current mood: birthday!
current music: Beatles - With a Little Help From My Friends
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| Monday, December 22nd, 2008
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1:51 pm - Swimslash, Gravity's Bringing Us Down 1/3
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Fic. Written for asouthernthing. Yeah, okay, I've dragged my feet on this long enough. Next time I decide to write something, remind me to actually know how it ends, so I don't have to go back and rewrite the last twenty pages. To be posted in three parts.
( Gravity's Bringing Us Down )
current mood: frenzied
current music: Coldplay - Viva la Vida
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| Friday, December 19th, 2008
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4:41 pm - ...and that's when the C.H.U.Ds came at me.
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New York didn't eat me, completely. It just sort of gnawed on my head a few times, then spat me out. Which I've learned is pretty much the best I can expect from New York; this city just does not like me, and it's gotten kind of mutual, to the point where it has eclipsed Sweden on my Nemesis List. But that's not important. What's important is that I missed getting to say happy birthday to eramundo a few days ago, and that is just Not On.
So, happy birthday, Lunar! A few days late! I am extremely sorry I was too sick to come to your party, but since I have made (so far) three people extremely miserable with my cold, I thought it best to keep my Typhoid Mary self at home. And then there was New York, and basically I think you're pretty much one of the most awesome and competent people ever, and I am totally going to bunker down with you in May, while Twig and Flidget are going nuts with their dollfie-related rituals and mating dances. I hope the year is wonderful to you.
( My last two New York trips, in a nutshell. Halloween, weird bandom discoveries, and medical decorating schemes. )
Anyway. I started listing everything I need to do, both online and meatworld, but that just looks-- uh, overwhelming. So, what I'm going to do is post my stupidly late ficathon piece, work on finding an apartment, and continue one at a time from there.
Still dying of plague. Send Mucinex. I think CVS thinks I am making a meth lab; I am pretty sure they won't sell me any more pseudoephedrine.
current mood: blargh
current music: Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy
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| Sunday, December 14th, 2008
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12:16 am - A thousand sharpened elbows in the underground
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You know, I very rarely announce my absences from the internet because I always assume that people won't--
1. Notice. Or, if they do,
2. Care.
This seems like low self-esteem, but it's really not. It's just that I've lived with people who regularly don't register prolonged disappearances. (Case in point, there was this conversation with Louise that regularly took place in college.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Say, you've got [crutches/new scars/different hair/lurid tattoos/missing limbs/ notable physical difference etc.]."
"Yeah, I was in [the hospital/prison/home/international crime syndicate convention/a quest for pirate gold/some other location etc.] for a bit."
"Okay. By the way, we're out of paper towels."
Seriously. I mean, Louise would have to be gone for at least a week before I would even start looking around vaguely to see why no one was answering me back.) Anyway. At any rate, I have caught what I suspect is the plague, and spend much of my time staggering around and loudly horking up bodily fluids in a wide spectrum of colors and consistency. The sound of my cough resembles an amorous rhinoceros, and causes all babies within a five mile radius to wail.
This is where all the rundown on places I've been traveling to over the past six weeks would be if I hadn't just been asked to go to New York. So, as I have to leave at half past four in the morning, just assume that if you don't hear back from me, I have either expired from plague or been eaten by New York.
If I die, someone please destroy my computer so all my perversions follow me to the grave. And feed my fish.
current mood: cut me a break, world
current music: The Weakerthan's - One Great City!
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| Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
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5:14 am - wooooo
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I'M DRUNK
I WON $20.70 AT THE CASINO
I HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN THREE HOURS
SOMEONE PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IF I EVER DECIDE TO DO VETERANS DAY THIS WAY AGAIN
in my defense, I was with a whole bunch of army guys from work, and it was their idea. I barely know where I am right now.
I love everyone. I'm off to home. And then California. And then home. And then I plan to sleep for a week, and no one bother me. I love you. Just don't wake me.
current mood: DRUNK HA
current music: woooo
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| Saturday, November 8th, 2008
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1:27 am - sometimes I just stick my thumb in a peach, and leave it there
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So, a ton of stuff has happened lately, most of it good! I just have no time to catch up on it because I was in West Virginia two weeks ago, New York a week ago, New Orleans right now, and probably California next week. And then I think I get a week's break, and then I'm off to Chicago. So, if I haven't spoken to you lately, it's not because I don't like you. I just probably don't know where the hell I am at the moment.
Mostly I'm here to say that it was m_steelgrave's birthday yesterday, and she's an amazing person writing a goddamn awesome thesis. She also has one of the world's cutest dogs. Morgan, you are mind-bogglingly cool, and I hope I can be half that cool when I grow up. Best wishes for a great year.
I am going to brag briefly here, because only about three people reading this will recognize why I'm proud of it, but I got news two days ago from LSTRC that my journal was accepted for indexing by MEDLINE. This is on its first submission, in its first year of publication. So, yeah. I'm kinda happy about that.
Today I visited a man in a voodoo store/museum, and he told me all about his various pets, including Eugene, the thirty foot python, and Dax, the black mamba. (I question the reality of this dude actually owning a black mamba, but hey.) Then, he let me hold his albino python (not a euphemism), demanded my hands, told me I used to be a man, told me I was going to have a near-death experience, told me I was holding a dominatrix voodoo doll, and then bid me farewell in pretty much the exact same tone of voice all throughout.
Probably for the best. The entire time I was in there, I had the niggling feeling I was about to become a grisly death in the first five minutes of a Supernatural episode, setting up an excuse for the Winchester brothers to come visit. And for Dean to collect beads, fairly or not.
asouthernthing, I am incredibly sorry for the posting delay; I am thrashing through the edits as fast as possible. Man. I'm way too drunk for typing. Goodnight.
current mood: beignet-overload
current music: Jim's Big Ego - Stress
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| Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
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3:14 pm - I'm useless, but not for long, the future is coming on
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Goddamn, I cannot think of a single interesting thing to say about what I've been doing. So, uh, have some other stuff.
( Eight links, four ugly speedos, and one conversation about Australia )
I'm going to try and fill some of the non-RPF drabble requests next week. And finish my ficathon story. And chapter 17 of Pale Sky. And the fifty billion other WsIP in the queue. And the thing I actually publish for my job. Hoo boy.
current mood: fragged
current music: Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
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| Friday, October 3rd, 2008
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2:55 pm - Swimslash, Sports Make You Health
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Fic. Written for missanee and splitting_minds in the drabble meme.
Man, I used up a lot of condoms while writing this, which led to some awkward conversations with the neighbors. "Lovely weather we're having. So, was that you on the roof yesterday, dropping… things?" Yes. Yes, Mrs. Smith, it was me. Lovely weather indeed.
( Sports Make You Health )
current mood: TGIF, man
current music: Barenaked Ladies - If I Had A Million Dollars
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| Thursday, September 25th, 2008
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1:22 pm - Ow, dude. That was my heat sink. Now where the fuck am I gonna sink my heat?
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Busy, busy. Work eats my head (with new office politics! o help, I am no good at office politics), two of my friends are getting deployed next week, and the economy is doing its best ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES impression. So, I'll save all the depressing, serious stuff for another day and just be shallow right now.
( Thoughts on the season premiere of Supernatural, a short conversation about an athletic reality show that should be made, and a slight peek at the inside life of an ice cream man )
You made it through! Have some music.
( Music Post: Theme is still MIA )
My God, but Michael Phelps owns some of the ugliest Speedos I've ever seen in my life. I think it might actually call for an ugly Speedos picture post. I was trying to do at least one post without swimming dominating it, but this would be for the good of the world, much like when Ian Thorpe was experimenting with mullets and had to be called out on his tomfoolery.
current mood: ready to hibernate
current music: Dandy Warhols - Everyone is Totally Insane
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| Monday, September 8th, 2008
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5:32 pm - Swimslash, All Along the Watchtower
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2:06 pm - With a thousand lies and a good disguise
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I hate shopping for furniture. My sole criterion for dining room chairs is evaluating how easily someone can be tied to them, in case an intruder disrupts my dinner party and needs to be subdued.
( Things wot I did this weekend; or, why don't porn shops open before eleven on Sundays? )
I expect that's the "Really Really Incredibly Super-Bad Ending" of Silent Hill 2. You can only get this ending if you repeatedly beat Maria to death with the steel pipe, or something. Anyway, Twig and Lunar continue to be wonderful people. I suspect they are not actually humans at all, but stars come down from the sky to walk on earth.
Now I will talk about swimming. Sorry, it gets just such little attention for the rest of the year, I have to soak it up until it goes away.
( Unfiltered documentary and links )
Stand by for fic shortly. Also, I have fresh figs. I am in a state of fig-bliss.
current mood: figs!
current music: The Offspring - You're Gonna Go Far, Kid
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| Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
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1:41 pm - Swimslash, what I've got (you've got to give it to your mama)
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| Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
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7:25 pm - When you’re on a golden sea, you don't need no memory
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I hope I never die unexpectedly, because then my loved ones will go through my computer to see what I was doing beforehand. And then I will be disowned.
Okay, so we’ve established that I'm incapable of writing drabbles that are actually drabbles. If this trend of 100 words = 3000+ words continues, God knows where we'll end up.
The double-combo bondage seems to be winning the poll, (Well, actually, the Penny Arcade reference is winning, but that is because y'all are geeks, and I love you for it) so to prove I'm not dicking around completely, have the first two pages of it as a placeholder while I try to get the drabble requests done.
( They don't earn a title until they pass five pages )
And, why not, let's update the Scaly Dicks.
( I caved in and gave it a tag of its own )
I'm 99% sure chickpea's request will be the next thing out. On we go. You can still leave a request on the previous post, I just might not get to it for a bit.
current mood: I hate packing
current music: Weezer - Island in the Sun
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